Diane Oser’s Sound Visions

Technorati Tags: animals, Humour

When Insults Had Class These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, “If you were my husband I’d give you poison.” He said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.” A member of Parliament to Disraeli: [...]

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked! Q: I have [...]

‘Kimosabe, look towards sky; what you see?’ The Lone Ranger replies, ‘I see millions of stars.’ ‘What that tell you?’ asked Tonto?” The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, ‘Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies. Time wise, it appears to approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, [...]

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. 4. A [...]

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well : Bonus Question*: *Is Hell exothermic (gives [...]

Headlines From The Year 2029 Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped. Couple petitions [...]

Diary of a snow shoveler December 8 – 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt [...]